Hi, my name is Alicia, and I am a stay at home mom.
Motherhood is a wonderful thing. It's the single most productive, beautiful, life-changing thing I've ever done. If you're a mother, you understand those times when you just stare at your child in awe. In awe of so many things unexplainable - their beauty, their innocence, their ability to make your heart feel like it's going to burst at any given moment. In fact, I'm watching my youngest eat cereal right now in her Cinderella dress and I don't think it could get any cuter than this. Only a mother could appreciate a four year old chomping ungracefully on Kix while milk dribbles down her chin. Ridiculously simple moments like this leave you feeling like your cup overflows.
Then there are moments like last night. It was a Sunday night, which are the worst. You know Monday's right around the corner, and you're totally unprepared for it. Where did the weekend go? Oh wait - I'm a mom. Looking ahead to another week of cleaning, cooking, teaching, and planning knocks that cup that was overflowing just seconds ago right over, spilling it's contents completely and leaving you running on empty. Great, another mess to clean up.
And so that is the pothole I tripped into last night. I had gone to bed early, but awoke a little past midnight and was wide awake. I sent messages to my sister and my mom, looking for someone to chat with. Sis was out shopping, Mom was on her way back home from a birthday party with family. That's when the pity train pulled up. I haven't been shopping in over a year. I haven't seen family in almost two. As I compared my mundane schedule to their busy ones, those four pathetic words started swirling through my mind - I have no life. On that note, I turned my computer off and went back to bed.
This morning something woke me up extra early. I sat down with my coffee and Bible, and pulled out one of the Bible studies my mom had recently sent me. I chose the one on John. I need to get to know Jesus again. I started reading.
John 1: "In the beginning was the Word...(v. 4) In Him was life..."
I kept reading...
John 14:6: "Jesus answered, 'I am the way and the truth and the life."
Life. Life. LIFE! My Jesus had heard me. In the dark - in that lonely place where I felt stuck in this never ending cycle of daily routines, when I felt like I had no life - He heard me. He had heard, and He was responding, "I AM life."
Can we be honest and say that sometimes as mothers it feels like we have no life anymore? And it's no wonder! What do we say all the time? "My children are my life!!" The reality is that if we are searching for our identity in motherhood, we will ultimately burn out and find ourselves empty. As worthy a calling as it is, motherhood will not fulfill us anymore than marriage did. As much as God did not create you for the sole purpose of being your husband's wife, He did not create you for the sole purpose of mothering your children.
It goes beyond motherhood. No title in the world will fulfill you - "Father", "Boss", "Pastor", "Friend", "Teacher", "Doctor", "President". Your schedule could be overflowing with purposeful events, and still not be fulfilled. You could be the "life of the party" and have no...life.
If you are looking around at your life and feel like everything you do is futile and you "have no life", look up to the One who is life. Look to Him for your fulfillment and for your identity. Take time for yourself to be filled by Jesus, and let Him breathe His new life into your tired heart.
Motherhood is a wonderful thing. It's the single most productive, beautiful, life-changing thing I've ever done. If you're a mother, you understand those times when you just stare at your child in awe. In awe of so many things unexplainable - their beauty, their innocence, their ability to make your heart feel like it's going to burst at any given moment. In fact, I'm watching my youngest eat cereal right now in her Cinderella dress and I don't think it could get any cuter than this. Only a mother could appreciate a four year old chomping ungracefully on Kix while milk dribbles down her chin. Ridiculously simple moments like this leave you feeling like your cup overflows.
Then there are moments like last night. It was a Sunday night, which are the worst. You know Monday's right around the corner, and you're totally unprepared for it. Where did the weekend go? Oh wait - I'm a mom. Looking ahead to another week of cleaning, cooking, teaching, and planning knocks that cup that was overflowing just seconds ago right over, spilling it's contents completely and leaving you running on empty. Great, another mess to clean up.
And so that is the pothole I tripped into last night. I had gone to bed early, but awoke a little past midnight and was wide awake. I sent messages to my sister and my mom, looking for someone to chat with. Sis was out shopping, Mom was on her way back home from a birthday party with family. That's when the pity train pulled up. I haven't been shopping in over a year. I haven't seen family in almost two. As I compared my mundane schedule to their busy ones, those four pathetic words started swirling through my mind - I have no life. On that note, I turned my computer off and went back to bed.
This morning something woke me up extra early. I sat down with my coffee and Bible, and pulled out one of the Bible studies my mom had recently sent me. I chose the one on John. I need to get to know Jesus again. I started reading.
John 1: "In the beginning was the Word...(v. 4) In Him was life..."
I kept reading...
John 14:6: "Jesus answered, 'I am the way and the truth and the life."
Life. Life. LIFE! My Jesus had heard me. In the dark - in that lonely place where I felt stuck in this never ending cycle of daily routines, when I felt like I had no life - He heard me. He had heard, and He was responding, "I AM life."
Can we be honest and say that sometimes as mothers it feels like we have no life anymore? And it's no wonder! What do we say all the time? "My children are my life!!" The reality is that if we are searching for our identity in motherhood, we will ultimately burn out and find ourselves empty. As worthy a calling as it is, motherhood will not fulfill us anymore than marriage did. As much as God did not create you for the sole purpose of being your husband's wife, He did not create you for the sole purpose of mothering your children.
It goes beyond motherhood. No title in the world will fulfill you - "Father", "Boss", "Pastor", "Friend", "Teacher", "Doctor", "President". Your schedule could be overflowing with purposeful events, and still not be fulfilled. You could be the "life of the party" and have no...life.
If you are looking around at your life and feel like everything you do is futile and you "have no life", look up to the One who is life. Look to Him for your fulfillment and for your identity. Take time for yourself to be filled by Jesus, and let Him breathe His new life into your tired heart.
"I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly." (John 10:10)
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